When we’re ready to make a change, we know it. We start showing up differently, ready to take the actions needed to move forward into something new. Of course, it’s not easy to step outside of and beyond our comfort zone – to stretch and expand can feel pretty unsettling. After all, learning something new requires us to be a beginner.

Whether you’re starting over and trying to do something for the first time or feeling the need to leave something you’ve known that was comfortable, change is disquieting. It shakes us up and forces us to act differently. It’s always easier when we CHOOSE to change ourselves, because then certain choices and decisions are within our control.

Too often though, it feels like we have no choice. Life happens and throws us an unexpected curveball, then we have to react. I’ve seen this happen time and again in my own life, where I got a wakeup call that made me take notice that change was required. While there can be ramifications and fall-out from getting shaken up, this is not always a bad thing (even if it feels terrifying in the moment).

Early in my career, I made a choice not to follow an executive I worked with because I didn’t want to constantly be in her shadow. I turned down the opportunity to work directly for her at a divisional level, and requested a department head position where I thought I would have more independence, authority and the ability to drive change. Clearly I missed the memo on that one. That’s not how it went down.

That strategic error resulted in her bringing in someone else above me, then pushing me aside. Thankfully the experience caused me to get up and out – on to greener pastures. In retrospect, it was one of my best career decisions to choose myself because it ultimately catapulted me on to new opportunities and greater challenges that helped me develop professionally. I learned to adapt to changing circumstances and became more adept at reading the writing on the wall. While it was difficult at the time, it forced me to consider new options which moved me in a new direction.

What’s getting in your way?

So what are you waiting for? Do you need a sign to show you the door or prompt you to take action on something you care about? Most organizations are more than happy to let you know what’s up through layoffs, delayed promotions, small or no annual salary increases or complete disintermediation of your position. Sometimes it’s them, other times external situations force change, such as environmental crises or economic dislocations.

Don’t get me wrong, no one intends to bring these situations on themselves (climate deniers blaming meteorologists for recent hurricanes notwithstanding). However, sometimes things that could be foreseen happen, yet we get caught off guard because we didn’t want to see, prepare or plan ahead.

I’ve seen many a workaholic pour their guts into their job, only to end up divorced, sick or dead from a heart-attack. Who needs that stress? Is that really what your soul is calling you to do – give your life to the man for a few measly shekels? Yet, we can rationalize anything if it helps us avoid facing the hard work of looking at our lives and taking responsibility for our choices.

Now I’m not saying it’s easy to acknowledge being unhappy, miserable or burned out from a job that underpays you, overworks you and underappreciates your contribution. But, if you needed someone to point out what’s really going on, I encourage you to check in with yourself. You’ll know what you’re feeling.

WHAT WILL YOU DO ABOUT IT?

Sometimes we have to wake up and smell the coffee and pull up our big girl panties or big boy boxers. We have to look our situation in the face and decide how we want to respond. Not doing anything is still a choice. That’s the default route of waiting for circumstances to play out and rock our world in a bad way.

So here are some questions to consider as you look at your life and work situation and want to reclaim control:

• Are you where you want to be? If not, why not?
• Are you feeling stuck? What’s keeping you there?
• What are you most afraid of? How might this be holding you back?
• If you knew you would be supported and everything would work out even better than you expected, how might that change your mind? What would you do differently?

Change takes motivation pure and simple. A commitment to yourself and a willingness to do the work of facing your fears. And I will tell you, with love, that sometimes things can be uncomfortable, difficult or confronting, and yet, you’re stronger than you realize! You can do difficult and uncomfortable things.

How do I know this? Because look at what you’ve already been through to get where you are. You’ve navigated your life this far and achieved some important things. You got here based on your grit, persistence and focus. You know how to make things happen.

You can be proud of your accomplishments and maybe you feel comfortable where you are. But that doesn’t mean you can’t keep growing and pushing yourself to have or do more. I’m not one who believes we always need to push for more, more, more. But I will encourage you to seek more joy and happiness, because you deserve that.

Sometimes it pays to kick back and rest a little. There are advantages to knowing the ropes and not having to try so hard all the time. Comfort is not a bad thing. Lots of people are quiet quitting these days. However, inertia often leads to becoming stuck and that’s when rigidity and inflexibility can set in.

Sometimes we need to shake things up, push ourselves forward and do the hard work of exploring new opportunities. Particularly when things feel stale, stifling or uninspiring. This is where a growth mindset helps us – to learn, expand and challenge ourselves.

We can’t be experts at everything all the time. Think of some activity you love doing, a hobby for example. Learning how to cook, ride a bike, sail, camp or whatever it is that brings you joy. Chances are you had to develop your skill and proficiency to become better at it and that took some time. Some things worth doing take even more time than we expect to develop our mastery, others are just a matter of dedication.

It took me a while to get comfortable using my air-fryer, but it was worth it. That gadget has improved my life a million times over. I will lose no opportunity to share how fabulous and easy to use the machine is, once you get the hang of it. (Seriously, if you’re thinking about it, I recommend this one and it’s on sale at Walmart). Please reach out if you want to swap recipes!

What if you brought the same passion you have for your interests to your work?

We always have a choice – to move towards what we want with intention (to be the CAUSE) or let circumstances happen to us (to become the EFFECT). Do you like to drive your car or be driven around? Okay, maybe that’s not a fair question.

Do you value growth?

If you are growth-oriented, then learning and development will be important aspects of your life. Some people prefer consistency and certainty. They want to go to the same restaurant for every occasion and do the same job day in and day out. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going deep or keeping things simple.

But if you want more and better or enjoy variety, then you need to start shaking things up a bit. Making the decision that you will go after what you want with thoughtfulness, courage and persistence. Not wait for things to just happen to or for you.

Adapting Teddy Roosevelt’s quote which Brene Brown’s TEDTalk reminded us:

“The credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends themself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if they fail, at least fails while daring greatly, so that their place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Don’t be the timid one. You can be smart and daring, willing to take risks. Or you can choose to do nothing and wait for others to act. As always, only you know what you need. However, the fighters and leaders strive to do the deeds. If you want some support to face your enemies, slay your demons and take your place on the field of battle to go for the victory march, then reach out as I would love to support you in unleashing your inner warrior!

To doing the work,

Lenore