What if my life could be different? How can I do meaningful work that makes a difference?

What would it feel like to love your life and feel like your work is completely aligned with your values? That you are doing what you are meant to do, making a positive impact and feeling completely fulfilled.

Can you even imagine that it’s possible to feel great about most aspects of your life, knowing that you are right where you are meant to be? I know that can sometimes feel like a stretch. I personally have been through periods where work was challenging, I needed to hide my thoughts and keep my opinions to myself. It didn’t feel great to split myself in two to manage my work and life. It created stress, disconnection and disappointment.

Living a divided life is the opposite of wholeness, integration and truth. Yet this is what so many of us do to get by. We feel we have to keep up appearances, earn a living, navigate nasty office politics, make our partners happy (fill in the blank…). All the excuses we make to avoid what might be missing in our lives and the reasons we have for treading water and running the rat race to get ahead.

You would think they were giving out prizes for whoever dies with the most toys. What do we win? Not much. You won’t get a gold medal for high blood pressure, stress, anxiety and burn out. Nope. The price for getting ahead at all costs is much higher and uglier than that – divorce, illness, layoff, suicide and more.

I just read a sad, yet unsurprising story about a couple living the seemingly picture perfect life on Instagram. Yet it was all a sham or perhaps more of a facade, an unreal creation that had no substance. The husband’s real estate business was tanking, but he never told his wife as they continued to live high on the hog. A concerned friend (who the husband owed money to) told the wife about the financial difficulties, so they sold their NY apartment, then scaled back to a furnished rental that cost $47K/month (that’s not a typo).

Rather than face the difficulties, while his family was away on an expensive vacation he couldn’t afford, the husband committed suicide. The additional irony was that the husband’s father had also died leaving his family with countless debts to pay off. That’s when reality comes up and slaps you in the face.

LIVING IN TRUTH

We all face struggles and have to navigate through as best we can. There are the classic, yet unhelpful routes of denial, avoidance, subterfuge and manipulation, but these don’t usually work for long. Then there’s the path of facing the music and dealing with the situation, even if that means doing difficult things.

No one wants to fail or admit defeat and yet it’s unrealistic to expect everything to be fantastic and easy all the time. That’s just not life. Change is a constant and we have to be prepared to surf – to ride the waves as we experience ups and downs.

I’ve come to see 3 essential elements that must be managed to feel more in control of our life and choices. This is the work I do with clients.

• INNER WORK: Looking at your personal experience and
  knowing yourself. Who are you and what are you good at? What is important
  to you? What motivates you and makes you tick?
  • Question to consider:
    How well do I know myself and what I want?
• OUTER WORK: Understanding the context that you best operate in, including your physical and work environment. What actions do you choose to take to move forward in your life work?
  • Contemplate: Am I in the best environment for me to excel?
• INTERPERSONAL WORK: Connecting with others is essential for us to be actively engaged in the world and grow. We are not individual islands, we must depend up and interact with others. How do we choose to relate?
  • Ask yourself: Am I happy with my relationships and do I feel supported and understood?

FINDING YOURSELF

Another way to think about this trifecta is there’s you, your life and your work. How do these three things relate to each other = are they in happy balance and synchronicity or at odds? Do you feel firmly centered in yourself and solidly confident in your choices around how you spend your time, energy and attention?

Most of my clients come to me when something is out of whack. They’re unhappy or stressed out about their work. But usually as we dig deeper, we find much more going on around how they view themselves and what’s happening in their relationships, either with family, friends, partners or colleagues. Mostly, they’ve lost sight of things that were important to them and they feel slightly disconnected and dissatisfied.

Of course it’s not surprising to feel disconnected when all of one’s energy is dedicated to a soul-sucking job that offers no appreciation or satisfaction. Working at a company constantly squeezing you to produce more or a boss always demanding more and never bothering to thank you for the work you do.

Or on the flip side, if you consistently berate yourself for not figuring things out, not doing enough or being an impostor, it can be hard to feel centered, calm or confident. The incessant push, push, push to do more gets exhausting, if not sickening.

Do we sacrifice our personal interests in the pursuit of more? Do we stop exercising or making plans with friends or taking time off for vacation to prove our worth at work? These are just some of the many examples I’ve seen of how we can cut ourselves off from balance and happiness. It doesn’t need to be that way.

What’s Possible?

While there are many subtle ways we can get out of connection with ourselves, that is not how we want to or are meant to live. Here are some of my client’s experiences in their own words to help you see that having more of what you want is possible.

By changing your mindset and doing your inner, outer and interpersonal work, you can find more fulfillment. Learning tools, strategies and practices to truly know yourself and make choices based on what you care about.

I love hearing these insights and lessons clients recently shared with me that I hope can inspire you.

• “It’s okay to not land “the job”. It’s okay to have a non-traditional path. When you are building a dream, it could take years to realize each incremental step. Be patient with yourself, your partner, your clients and the world we live in. It’s worth building a dream that changes the way people live and work and impacts the planet. You no longer feel lost and useless. My commitment to my work has given me a great sense of purpose, community and reward – in all the ways.“ C, soulpreneur
• “I want my work to reflect my values, but it doesn’t have to be the only avenue of true expression of my passion and my commitment to making a difference. There are other channels from my hobbies and volunteer work that fulfill me. It wasn’t about climbing the work ladder or achieving external success. It was about the little moments – finding joy in the work I do and knowing that I am contributing to something greater than myself.“  E, consultant
• “I avoid making decisions based in fear. I make a pros and cons list, and accept that every career choice will come with ups, downs, and a level of uncertainty – some uncertainties I can anticipate, others will be completely unknown. Accepting the unknown risks helps me to not be afraid of them. The fear exists, and I can manage it!”  S, emerging leader

YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR WORK

While work is an important part of your experience, it does not need to be the only thing that defines you.  Ideally your work will be a reflection of your values and talents, allowing you to fully express yourself.  Your life should be full of experiences and relationships that light you up, so that you know you are where you’re meant to be.  When you feel empowered, you get to call the shots and make the right choices that feed your soul.

If you feel ready to live in your truth, then I’m here to support you.  Together, we will uncover the truest expression of your life and work, so you can live authentically from your heart.  Want to learn more about this path to fulfillment? Reach out to connect. I would love to hear what you want to create.