Most of us prefer things to be quick and easy. Use Waze to get to your destination faster even if it takes you on crazy side roads you’ll never traverse again. Rezy to book the top restaurants and skip the lines. Program your BFFs on speed dial. We want things when we want them.

It’s no surprise that we often want to optimize our search more more meaning and fulfillment. Make it more efficient and find the fast track to happiness. I believe there are quick routes to reach your goals faster, but everything is relative. I don’t think we can bypass doing the personal inner work of uncovering who we are on the search to what we want to do and how we want to live.

REFLECTION IS REQUIRED

Considering what you want and understanding who you really are – what makes you tick – can take time. Very few of the students and clients I’ve worked with know exactly what they want to do out of the gate, unless they’ve already pondered what they enjoy and understand their goals. Some deep and thoughtful reflection on what lights us up is warranted and valuable. Most of us need a little time to sit with ourselves, experience what we don’t like and then realize that something else would make us more fulfilled.

One way to find fit is by experiencing the discomfort of something being terribly off or mildly annoying for us to decide, “what was I thinking? that’s not for me!” And then, we move in a new direction that is more aligned with our goals and what we want. Hopefully along the way, we gain more clarity around what type of person we really are and where we can excel.

I recently witnessed a twenty-something family friend navigate this process. I found Joe’s journey quite reflective of many that I’ve observed and wanted to share some of the lessons.

Learning by Doing

• Joe initially underestimated himself and felt uncertain of his skills given his eclectic and sporadic work experience across a diverse and seemingly unrelated set of jobs.  He wasn’t sure where to focus.
• Upon reviewing his background, we uncovered some common skills and redirected Joe towards an interesting career path that would give him more opportunity. The salaries for managers with 7+ years of experience were pretty compelling (low six figures), and he had almost 5 years of somewhat related experience.
• He repositioned himself and applied for multiple jobs. Unfortunately, his online applications did not receive any responses.
• He had inadvertently over-estimated his background since he didn’t have the exact titles or experience needed and was likely more qualified for entry-level positions. It was disappointing and challenging to be “in between” position levels, but not uncommon for those who are trying to make a transition.
• Upon reflection, Joe decided to redirect his focus to pursue something he knew he “could” do, rather than what he thought he “should” do.
• He realized additional training would benefit him, so he pursued an online certification to build his skills and credibility.
• At the same time, since a few months had passed, as a fallback, he began applying for jobs based on his actual skills. He had always been interested in the nonprofit sector and not surprisingly, immediately received his first job interview. He got called back for a second round of interviews and was very excited about the possibilities.
• Instead of forcing himself to fit into a box, Joe could just be himself, and his skills for this new opportunity are a perfect fit!  After 5 months of pursuing hundreds of other opportunities, he finally returned to what he cared most about, but had been avoiding for fear of being pigeonholed.

So, what can you take from this story?

There are multiple paths to get to an end destination. Had my young friend decided to pursue his true interests out of the gate, Joe likely would have found a job within 2 or 3 months. Instead, he went through a challenging extended period of rejection, doubt,  and evolution. However, that time caused him to look more closely at what he was good at, what he enjoyed doing and the environments where he would be happiest, doing work that aligned with his interests.

Arguably Joe needed that time to reflect, come to his senses and face himself. Had he gone straight to nonprofit work, he might have always regretted not pursuing traditional higher paying corporate roles. And while he may now be concerned about getting stuck in nonprofit, I don’t believe that’s true. It’s always possible to reposition yourself when you do it with thoughtfulness and intention and build out a smart transition strategy over time.

Restarting your career, getting your foot in the door, and gaining experience and building skills are all incredibly valuable elements in clarifying your professional and career aspirations. When you know, you know. When you don’t have any real experience, you don’t know what you don’t know, you’re just talking trash. You have to get real.

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE

I frequently see people avoid pursuing what they care about. Why?  Too much personal judgement, shame, guilt, avoidance…. The list goes on. They are afraid to go after what they want because what if they get it?  Then what?  They have to do what they’re being called to and own up to their brilliance and gifts.  Sometimes that feels overwhelming, particularly if it means choosing something that is more mission-driven and potentially pays less.

While of course we can’t control the job search process and when or whether we’ll get hired, we can in fact decide how we want to go through change. We can resist and struggle and fight our natural interests or consider what we really want and get excited by the opportunity to do what we love. And we can also just take an interim job to figure things out and pay the bills, no shame in that.

Everyone’s path is different and will be unique to you.  It’s often about what you need to learn and how you need to grow.  Expecting a quick fix isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. There’s so much to be gleaned from moving through a thoughtful discovery process to learn more about yourself and who you are.

Understanding and honoring your unique process is important. I call it the Authentic Alchemy Path, my eight-step protocol to help you uncover exactly what will bring you more fulfillment and look forward to sharing more as my book moves forward over the coming months. My manuscript is complete and I’m now entering the design phase to bring it to life. You’ll be hearing more about new ways to connect with me as things unfold.

After all, the long and winding road (cue the Beatles) is as much about the journey as the destination. So the more you can focus on learning as much as you can along the way, the more enjoyable it will be.  Quick and easy can’t always replace long and enjoyable…