I love the Tina Turner song, What’s love got to do with it?  I believe that love often sits at the heart of everything important because we need passion to feel inspired. We derive more meaning, fulfillment and purpose when we pursue what we truly care about. If love feels too committed for you, consider the energies of inspiration, creativity or connection as other ways to bring you more into connection with your path.

Of course there are 101 practical reasons to do things and make choices – for the money, recognition, exposure, credibility, experience, ego…. All those reasons that we need to put ourselves out there to do stuff and make things happen. Yet this rush and push to get ahead at all costs can rob us of a deeper connection with what matters and those things that might bring us more joy.

Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes being strategic and practical is absolutely the right thing to do. To take a higher paying, more visible role, to pursue a promotion, switch companies or even take the first opportunity that comes along because it’s an easy and smart thing to do.  Some opportunities are put in our path so that we can learn from them, which often means being faced with the good, bad and ugly.

Following our heads makes sense, since the mind is practical above all else. Yet the heart wants what the heart wants and we need to recognize the difference between our head, our hearts and all our various body parts that make decisions for us and what messages they are telling us. The things we do for love are often more inspired and motivating. We may not be able to live on a love alone, we need food, shelter and safety.  However without love, parts of ourselves may wither and become disconnected.

HOW TO BRING MORE OF YOURSELF

When you consider your choices, can you ask your heart to join the conversation and check-in with what and how it may be feeling?  Author Elizabeth Gilbert has a newsletter that repeatedly reflects on the question, “What would love do?”  It’s a way of helping her ground her choices in being centered in her heart, a place of trust and knowing.

While I don’t regularly go around asking myself that question, I do regularly connect with my feelings to check-in and see what’s really going on. For me, a powerful reframe is around “Will this bring me joy?”  Once I open up to that, many more possibilities become available. Bringing more joy is a critical priority for me in a world filled with sorrow and strife, and an undertaking worthy of my effort and consideration.

The dilemma we often face between doing what we think we should vs. what we actually want to do was brought to mind recently unexpectedly when I had a flashback to the past. I met someone who works at a company I almost worked for. 4 years ago, I was verbally offered a CMO role at a high growth tech company just before the pandemic. Then COVID hit and I was ghosted.

No acknowledgement whatsoever that they had changed their minds and decided not to move forward.  It was an awkward silence. The irony of it all is was I hadn’t really wanted the job, since I had doubts about how they handled the recruitment process to begin with as their communication and terms kept changing.

It was concerning, however my head rationalized the opportunity to be part of a potentially lucrative exit might be worth sacrificing for a short while. Foregoing the freedom and independence I had as a consultant to put my business to the side for another chance at the brass ring. I determined the payoff might be worth it to manage 2 years of stress.

Thankfully I didn’t need to make the choice to compromise my soul since the decision was made for me. I now appreciate the advantage of hindsight as I learned from the person working at the company now what I’d known it my gut, I would have walked into a sh*t show.  The CEO was removed 2 years in while the company was on their third CMO in as many years. I have no doubt that I dodged a bullet as I might have lasted less than a year and my anticipated payout would have taken over 4 years to materialize.

I share this story as an example of how we need to put things into perspective and trust in the universe. Rather than sucking up to the corporate grind, I was able to be with my Dad, who passed away several months after COVID hit. Instead of working nonstop for a business I didn’t particularly care about and a leader that didn’t make me feel inspired, I was able to have quality time with someone I loved. Many were not so lucky over that period. I have no regrets about what coulda, woulda, shoulda been. It didn’t happen and I’m in the place that I am now, grateful for how life evolves in unpredictable ways.

Making Aligned Choices

Are you or have you faced a similar challenge between whether to pursue something that sounds great on paper, but brings up tension in your soul? My advice for you as you consider your options is to:

• Know yourself – what do you want and value?
• Trust your instincts – don’t second guess yourself
• Have faith in the universe – know that things usually work out for a reason
• Follow your passions – keep moving forward towards what is meaningful for you!
• Believe in your path – know that your choices will take you where you are meant to go

While it can be easy to fall prey to regrets or doubts when faced with challenging decisions and conflicting motivations, you can relax knowing that there is often a larger plan at play even if it may not be obvious in the moment.

While this might be unsettling for those of us who like to control and manage life (as if that were in fact possible), I’ve actually learned that there’s something liberating in letting sh*t go. Being in the flow. Listening to ourselves. Throwing caution to the wind and seeing where we are meant to go. It may often not be how or what we expect, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t exactly where we should be.

Would you like to be present for new opportunities and implicitly trust your own inner wisdom, rather than doubting, regretting or comparing to others?  I am here to support you!  Reach out to connect.  Let’s talk about the world you want to create and how you can feel more authentically aligned with your truth.