Shift doesn’t happen overnight

How fast do you expect to change?

In reflecting on my personal evolution and observing the growth of my clients, I was reminded what a journey change can be. It starts when you become aware of a sense of unease, dissatisfaction, unhappiness or frustration – feeling something is just a little off.  But it can be hard to put a finger on it, so initially you brush off or push aside the discomfort. You rationalize that it’s not so bad, you can handle it, just keep moving forward…

You try to ignore, deny or avoid that sense until the feelings become stronger.  Your inner voice starts as a whisper asking: “What if things were different?  Why am I feeling this way? What do I really want?”  Until one day the questioning becomes a bit more assertive and you realize, “WTF?  Why am I putting up with this sh*t? Maybe it doesn’t need to be this way. I think I’m ready for something different.”

You stop being willing to put up with less than what’s acceptable.  It actually starts becoming intolerable. That’s usually when people reach out to me. They find it too hard to manage the internal dissonance between what they really feel (stressed, crappy, dissatisfied) and what they think they should (soldier on, keep putting on a good face, ignoring the frustration).  They want more, better, lighter, happier.

That inner resistance we feel to change is strong and real. We have to reach a point where our desire for something new is stronger than our inertia and excuses. Overcoming years, if not decades of ingrained beliefs, behaviors and experiences is no easy task. Even while we may feel stuck and not see a way forward, I always know that change is possible. I’ve seen it time and again with myself and others. We don’t need to suffer in silence with situations we can’t stand… unless of course we choose to.

It starts with listening to that voice: “What if things were better?  I want to be happier and more fulfilled!” That awareness alone can start you on the path to explore new options.


You can’t even imagine what you might create. I know there are so many opportunities available that we can’t see when we’re looking down instead of ahead.  In my upcoming book, I’ll be sharing my 8-step process that guides you through creating change.  It codifies more than a decade (+20 years if I count my corporate change work) of learning into a framework for making meaningful changes. My initial process only had 3 steps – as if it change was easy peezy. I ultimately realized that was over-simplifying work that runs deep.

Think of going on an archaeological dig to unearth important discoveries that can inform your experience. First you identify and mark the site to create a perimeter around where you will excavate.  Then you pick one place to start digging.  Sometimes you get lucky and find a gift near the surface, but the buried treasures are usually much deeper. They need to be dug up, dusted off and brought to the surface into the light of day to be explored further.  What was their significance?  How were they used?  What purpose did they serve before they became buried underground? How can we learn from them now?

It can take time to understand our inner terrain and uncover the hidden ruins of our internal workings. They became covered over by layers of history, years of strong defenses and barricades that prevented them from being breached.  We fear revisiting our experiences of pain, suffering, humiliation, disappointment.  All the ways we may have compromised. We need a delicate and thoughtful processes to carefully scope our inner landscapes to mine them for meaning.

The archaeology metaphor speaks to me on so many levels. Doing inner work is preparing for an excavation without knowing what we will uncover. Each person’s discovery process is unique. What might take one person an hour to explore may take another months to unwind. Sometimes a surface clearing is great way to get a fresh perspective.  Other times, buried treasures are deeply embedded and need more effort to be revealed to unlock magical mysteries.

While we often prize speed in our culture. Being first, getting ahead, and coming out on top, the quick win isn’t always what matters.  Of course there is value in making progress and seeing results, but sometimes a quick fix is just a Bandaid covering up a gaping wound. It may not remove the underlying source of the pain. Sometimes we can move fast, other times slow and steady wins the race.  The rabbit or the turtle?  No process is better or worse – they are different animals.

We need to go at our own pace to discover what we need. Often, our discovery process takes longer than we’d like. Healing, learning, growth are not automatic outcomes. Everyone’s pace is different. Find the support you need to do your work and trust that your process is exactly as it’s meant to be.  Do the work needed to find the fulfillment, meaning and purpose you desire. There’s enough pain and suffering in the world right now, so how can you find more joy?  By actively looking for it.

Personally, my joy needed to be unearthed from all the stuff built up over time that was covering up my happiness. Yet, there it was all along. Hiding and waiting for me to go and find it.  We all can access our core essence (whether that’s more joy, happiness, fulfillment or purpose) and step into our wholeness. By releasing and healing unhelpful attitudes, restrictive beliefs, unproductive behaviors and heavy energies, we can become healthier and freer, unburdened by our past limitations and restrictions. We get to put down what we no longer need to carry and boy does that feel liberating!

Ready to become liberated?  If you feel like it could be time to find more meaning, let’s connect! In a Discovery Call, we will start to explore where your treasures are buried, then it’s just a matter of unearthing them to reveal more possibilities. Is it time to go on that adventure?

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